Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
