it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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