I CAN MOONWALK!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
