I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
