fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
