Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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