she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
