That's when you crack a 10am beer
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
