Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
