Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
