I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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