she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
