pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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