3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
