I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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