i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
