when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
