Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
