Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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