You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
