So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
