i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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