No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
