I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
