Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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