He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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