i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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