WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
