I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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