I faked an abortion last night.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
