have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
