just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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