i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
