so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She told me I should be a condom model.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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