hotel room ftw
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
