he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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