We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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