found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
