my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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