she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
