everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
