Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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