Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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