I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
