why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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