Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
