dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
