so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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