In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
