we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
